i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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