The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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