There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
