when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
