His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize