What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
