woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
