It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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