So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
