My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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