like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Randomize
