ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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