If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize