she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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