good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
