if you like me you must not know who I am
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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