There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
