Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
