Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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