went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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