she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
