I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There r osticjed everywhere
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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