Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize