You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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