Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Umm I'm too high to move.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
