I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize