TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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