He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
