see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize