I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
