if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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