I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
