My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
