forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
