Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize