david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
