they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
