Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
