dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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