Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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