my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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