she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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