watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
