She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize