just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
