I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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