Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize