I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
