I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize