Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
