he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
