Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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