It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
