You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
