True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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