Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
