oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
