i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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