Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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