Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
