i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
