he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
