So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
