No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
