Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize