This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
